Work in Progress

You can fill up your days with inconsequentials. Shop till you drop and buy things you don't need.

You can work and work and work until you've stopped counting the hours you clock, driving your mind to places where exhaustion doesn't even begin to describe how you feel.

You can socialise and talk on the phone and rebuild friendships from the scraps left behind, knowing all the while that these new ties won't erase the old, no matter how hard you try.

Try everything. Stuff your days with everything you can.

Because when night comes, and your mind goes quiet, it all comes back.

Your memories emerge, wave after crushing wave.

Until the morning comes and you try again.

The whole Venus/Mars thing again

Girl: I like this. It's so comfortable. We fit so well together.

Boy: Yeah, just like Lego.

Cue laughter.

(Shared with permission of those concerned)

(Over)Cautious?

I'm so busy trying to avoid the mistakes I made before, I making huge, brand new ones.

That perfect balance of learning from the past and enjoying the present while not fearing the future.

It eludes me.

The Liberal Illusion

I thought acceptance and tolerance had become the norm.

I was taught that everyone is equal and though we come from different backgrounds, colours, religions and economic classes - everyone had to be treated the same and with respect.

I had friends who were rich and those that weren't so well off; friends who were Hindu, Muslim, Catholic and certainly a whole bunch of disillusioned agnostics and atheists.

It was lovely, and to a large extent, it still is.

But now I'm finding that the norm has limits. Tolerance and respect is all very well, as long as you don't bring it back to your doorstep. Friendship is great, but if you marry - make sure it's from the right religion, caste, community and socio-economic class. When push comes to shove, even the friendship lines will be drawn on the side of those we can see in our 'groups'.

The Liberal illusion is well and truly shattered.

The exception to the norm is not the intolerant person.

It is the person who says he/she is accepting of all, and is able to follow through with more than just words.

To my friend the smoker...

There's really no need to explain why you are slowly killing yourself.

After all, we've all been there; when you have those really bad days that just make you want to numb the pain by inhaling tar and a variety of other strange substances.

Then again, the rest of us have moved on.

We discovered alcohol and hugs and other things that made us feel better.

I'm sorry you didn't.

But my pity is limited.

For example, it does not extend to an allowance for making my hair stink every time I'm with you. Or having you accountable for an extra laundry load because all my clothes smell of that horribly acrid stench. Not to mention all that second hand smoke you so kindly share with me.

Those are the mere details.

The real problem I have with the whole situation is, I HATE smoke.

It was fun hanging out with you while it lasted, but I'm afraid that while you continue to slowly introduce your lungs to the possibility of cancer, I'm choosing to... not.

S

Since you were expecting to find yourself mentioned here at some point, I thought, why not end your misery?

I'll admit I have a penchant for pessimism, therefore writing about you and things that annoy me in the same vein would be... easy. Then again, where would be the fun in that?

So we'll leave it at this; we've come a long way, you and I. And we're all the better for it.

You have my hugs and I have your diamonds... equal footing when you really think about it.

I'm glad we're us with the stupid humour and the sarcasm and the cuddles and the fact that we can cry unabashedly when we both needed to.

Oh yes,

I almost forgot to mention,

I really do love you.

Siblings

I sat with you for talk about shoes

I sat with him for talks about boys

I sat with the other him, for words in dictionaries that he would not explain to me

and with all of you, I felt such love.

I drank Old Monk and Grey Goose,

with equal ease and equal grace,

our old table of memories and stylish tables of novelty,

they seemed the same in the company,

did you notice it?

I held hands with all of you,

fell asleep lying next to you,

I cried for love of you,

when you were long gone and went your own way.

When I close my eyes,

I remember the room we were in,

The air we shared,

the laughter ringing off the walls.

I talk to you,

I talk to them,

And your voices make me happy,

wherever I am.

Way too much free time

He has a look on his face when he talks to her.

She twirls her hair and smiles a lot when he's around.

They spend waaaay too much time together.

'Just friends' don't act that way around each other.

There must be something going on.

No of course I'm not saying that they're going out! Don't be ridiculous!

But you know, she is single... and so is he.

Maybe they are, who knows?!

I'm not asking them, it's none of my business!

Her friend's brother's cousin's wife told my classmate's room-mate that he spent the night in her room.

He lent her a book, he never lends his books out.

She's taking a trip with him, a trip! We all know what that means!

He's gay? Well of course, he's gay! I knew it all along.

It was something about his mannerisms...

The way he spends all his time with her.