Baggit

I have a cousin who said that no self-respecting adult should be caught dead carrying a baby bag.

A baby bag of course, is entirely different from a bag that has baby stuff in it.

A baby bag is the one with pastel colours and pictures of clowns or toy trains on it. It's large, unattractive and always knocks people over when the carrier of said bag walks by. It is not clear what purpose the clowns and toy trains serve. The kids for whom the bags are carted around don't know their elbows from their knees yet, never mind being amused by a clown face. In most cases it would seem they are quite as entertained with a spoon. Or mud.

Moreover (and it has to be said), the bag does nothing whatsoever for the adults carrying it. Absolutely. Nothing. It does not add to the style quotient, and it doesn't help to announce that they are parents; the fact that they have a child attached to them serves to do that quite well.

But then there's the issue of how convenient they are.

Well, it would seem that an ordinary bag, something that may (heaven forbid!) not attract the attention of everyone within a five-mile radius but still attractive enough to be taken out in public, would serve to carry around the nappies, bottles, bibs and baby trinkets just as easily. I've even seen some parents do this (including the aforementioned cousin), so this is not a figment of my imagination or me waxing eloquent from my childless utopia.

To all those companies that manufacture and endorse these hideous things, please, stop.

Let parents regain their dignity and pride.

God knows that when they're changing the 100th soiled nappy for a new one out of that bag, they're going to need it.

Cancer Chronicles

It seems to be the season of recurrence and death.

You can pray hard for things to not happen.

You can believe in the power of 'good', and that 13 year olds don't die when there's still so much of life that they haven't seen or done.

And yet, my pint-sized hero, older and wiser and calmer than any adult in his situation is dead.

When recurrence and death do occur, the rationalisation process begins.

I can imagine he's in a better place, no longer suffering etc etc; because really, what else is left than to explain it any which way I can?

Unfortunately, whether I can comprehend what happened or not doesn't change the fact that a little boy died, a family lost their only child and the rest of us feel guilty and grateful for still breathing.

Children in Churches

There is no good reason served by taking children to church.

The children are bored, the parents frustrated and the entire congregation distracted. I'm secretly convinced that even the priest sometimes wants the kids to just shut the hell up or leave! So much for the holy environment and all that...

I know some parents have the idea that if children go to church from a young age, they develop a reverence for the place and become accustomed to the traditions of their religion.

Perhaps they're right.

Then again, my sister and I went to church when we were young and all I remember from those times was that my mum's lap was very comfortable to take a nap on until the whole singing, praying, bowing heads bit was over. I don't think that quite equates a reverence for Catholicism. Then again, that's just me.

In a perfect world, and by that I mean the world where I ran things the way I wanted to, anyone that did not understand volume control could not enter a church.

We can all agree that children have no concept of appropriate voice modulation (some adults don't either, but lets not deviate from this present subject). Therefore, until such time that they do, church is a no go.

Unfortunately, the church I frequent does not subscribe to this theory.

I believe it is time to look for another parish.

Oblivion

Four year old: Can you read me another book?

Me: No. I read you three already.

FYO: But I want you to.

Me: I can't. I need to study.

FYO: What's 'study'?

Me: I have an exam. So I need to do some work for that.

FYO: What's 'exam'?

I didn't want to disenchant her blissful oblivion.

It will happen soon enough!