Whenever I was invited to a birthday party of a schoolmate, my mother would make sure that I replied to the invite and let the person know if I would be attending the party of not. The day after the party, I had to call and say thank you for a wonderful time, even if the party was a dead loss with soggy chips.
Years later I found out about the RSVP on wedding invitations. I took this to mean the same thing that the school birthday party protocol entailed - you had to let them know if you were going to be there or not. On one occasion I did not reply to a wedding invitation in time, and was mortified at how rudely I had behaved. I avoided the bride for six months thinking she may still be mad at me. As it turned out, there were 800 people at the wedding. For all she knew, I was there!
But never, ever during all those years of birthday party and wedding invitations did I think that a reply was optional. RSVP meant you had to!
Repondez s'il vous plait! They even say Please! In French!
And yet over the last few years I find that when I invite my friends to a party or ask them to confirm their attendance, they seem to think this comes with an added condition of 'if you feel like it'. They do not see it as impolite, or an inconvenience that I have to moonlight as a psychic and play guessing games as to whether or not they will be making an appearance.
When did it become passe to let the host know that you will be present at an event, eating the food and yes, perhaps you will bring three or four guests?!
I find this really annoying when it happens. And the only thing more annoying than this, is when someone confirms that he/she is coming and then 'sends word' through somebody else that they won't be able to come. I have realised halfway through a party that a friend was missing and when I asked where she was someone else pipes up with, 'Oh yeah, she said to tell you she couldn't make it.'
For the love of God, we live in an over-connected world. We've gone all the way from the place where it was hard to get in touch with people to where you have to try really hard to avoid someone! Between cell phones, facebook, gtalk and real life - you're always connected. So why on earth would you need to 'send word'?? Was it too hard to expend five minutes worth of energy to type out a message or dial a number to make your own apologies?
Needless to say, my list of invitees is getting a LOT smaller every year!
When did it become passe to let the host know that you will be present at an event, eating the food and yes, perhaps you will bring three or four guests?!
I find this really annoying when it happens. And the only thing more annoying than this, is when someone confirms that he/she is coming and then 'sends word' through somebody else that they won't be able to come. I have realised halfway through a party that a friend was missing and when I asked where she was someone else pipes up with, 'Oh yeah, she said to tell you she couldn't make it.'
For the love of God, we live in an over-connected world. We've gone all the way from the place where it was hard to get in touch with people to where you have to try really hard to avoid someone! Between cell phones, facebook, gtalk and real life - you're always connected. So why on earth would you need to 'send word'?? Was it too hard to expend five minutes worth of energy to type out a message or dial a number to make your own apologies?
Needless to say, my list of invitees is getting a LOT smaller every year!
3 comments:
I agree. Selfish people!
Haha, you know what's incredible? The number of people that think this post is about them!!!! Muhahahaha
I am framing these precious thoughts so that I can at least show them to the next rule breaker.
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